It All Started With A Hand
by mylife9
Summary: It was a bittersweet relationship, more bitter than anything, but it was always sweet. Axel wished it happened. He wished that Roxas did it. He wished things were different. Axel would have given Roxas whatever he wanted. Unfortunately, Axel couldn't.


**author's note:** new story! and this time, it's in one of my favorite categories of all time: kingdom hearts! *throws a party*

**author's note two:** this is a one-shot. it will not be multi chaptered.

**disclaimer:** i do not own _kingdom hearts_ or anything affiliated with it. do i wish i did? yes. because then i could see my favorite characters 24/7. but i don't. i'm just glad that the copies are for sale.

**summary:** It was a bittersweet relationship, more bitter than anything, but it was always sweet. He wished it happened. He wished that he did it. Really. He did. So much. He wished things were different. If he did it, he would have given him everything he wanted, no matter how big or small. Unfortunately, he couldn't.

_Kingdom Hearts_

_It All Started With A Hand_

Everyday, when they hung out on top of the clock tower at Twilight Town's Station Plaza, he would always have his hand out to the side of his body, hoping that he would reach out and take it. It was a futile and vain hope, definitely, but that never stopped him from doing it. It never stopped him from sitting down next to him with their sea salt ice cream that he only ate just for him and talking about their missions and whatever else came to mind. It never stopped him from leaving his hand there, in between their bodies, just wishing that once, just one time, he would grab his hand or put his on top of his. It never stopped him from feeling hopeful when it looked like he would and disappointed when he didn't. It was a vicious circle, sure, but it was something he couldn't break. It was a guilty, masochistic pleasure of his that would never leave his system.

So, he continued to do it. He continued to torture himself jus t for that fleeting hope of contact. Just for that one little instance that would change his life. Just for that one little instance that would change his world. He wished, desperately, that it would happen because he wanted it so, so, so bad. He wanted to make him one with him. He wanted to fall in love with him, be in love with him, despite their nature. He, he wanted so much, needed so much, and he knew that it would start with that one little contact of hand on hand.

This routine continued for 354 days. Each day was the same. The same routine. The same happiness. The same pain.

It changed on day 355. He was glad that he kept count, but couldn't help but be sad that he did, because now he would remember exactly how many days they were together. Exactly how many days passed without a return touch. And it pained and elated him that he couldn't forget this day.

Day 355 was the day he left to fond answers/ Day 355 was the day he went to find himself. Day 355 was the day he went out on a journey, never to come back again.

Day 355 was the day he cried for the first and last time on his life. He cried for lost love. He cried for himself. He cried for him. He cried to release all of his pent up emotions that would never be expressed to the one he wanted to show them to. He cried for a life he never got, but wanted. He cried for a love he never received, but needed. He cried to try and get over his loss, even though he knew it was pointless. He cried to try and forget and to also remember.

Day 355 changed him in ways no one could have imagined. No one expected him to go after him. No one expected him to be so willing to find him. No one expected him to die. But it happened.

The thing was, he couldn't bring himself to care. He couldn't bring himself to care that he was dying for someone else; because he knew he was dying for him. He couldn't bring himself bring himself to care that he would never see him again. To him, knowing that he died protecting him was everything, but also so little, he could do for him.

He thinks it's funny how everything has progressed. He thinks it's funny that even though his affections weren't returned, he still did whatever he could to protect him and care for him as if they were. He thinks it's funny how, in the end, he did whatever he could for him, even though it wasn't much.

He thinks it's funny that he would never know if he ever returned his feelings.

**author's note:** i was on the train playing a holo mission in kingdom hearts 358/2 days and they were showing the scene where they're on the clock tower and bam! this came to me. i HAD to write it so i typed it up on the memo pad on my phone and then retyped it on my computer it took me like 30 minutes to write all of this originally.

**author's note two:** i hope you guys like this! i know it's confusing. trust me. i read it over after i was done and was like 'oh dear. i don't think a lot of people will understand this.' never fear though! after a while up on the site, i will write (down here of course) what's going on. please review and tell me what you think is going on and if there was anything wrong with this at all. i appreciate your input! 'til next time!


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